5-4-06

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”
Charles M. Schultz

"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.”
Robin Williams

“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”
Bill Cosby

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”
Bill Cosby

Happy Thursday

5-3-06 So far so...um....well

Today isn't really going well so far. Nothing major...just piddly things. PC took 20 minutes to boot up, I slept all of three hours last night, etc. Silly stuff.

I so wanted something wonderful and enlightening to post today. It seems today had other ideas.
No worries. Plenty of hours left to turn it around.

Today's pic - for the sake of logging the moments of my life - is a big ol' airplane.

To me this has always been a joyous, hopeful thing. Not so much today. It is, in fact, the cause of a great deal of silly drama. Bad plane! Bad!

Today's quote is one I really must learn to take to heart:
"Other people’s faults are like bees—if we don't see them, they don't harm us."
-Luis Vigil

Y'all have a good day and I'll put some effort into doing the same. :)
Happy Humpday.

5-2-06 Apophysis Redux

Apophysis forced me to upgrade. I haven't used it in months. I was fairly enthusiastic to upgrade. Woohoo, new fractalishiousness. The colors seem brighter.
I must know...who are Julia and Julian anyway? ;P

Ahhh, bright, pretty colors for your Tuesday. Enjoy.

I still think it's neat to start with this...


...and fiddle around until I get something like this.


Happy Tuesday. :)

05-01-06 Wasting Space

I have one of those alarm clocks that wakes me up to radio jabber. This is not necessarily a good thing. One never knows what the first coherent syllables of the day may turn out to be. (Visual of the movie "Groundhog Day" here.)
This morning, I'm certain I awoke to the bottom of the food chain as far as news is concerned. The first thought of my day was, "Tom Cruise has decided that Katie Holmes will be referred to as "KATE" Holmes from this day forward. Katie is a child's name, and since she is now a mother she can no longer be called by a child's name."

Now, I don't want to criticize another human being, so I'm going to attempt to be decent about this.
Could someone please whisper in ol' Tommy's ear that it is tacky to share your religious beliefs outside of your own family? I know squat about Scientology. I knock no one's faith ever Whatever gets you through the night is fine with me. However, if this particular faith had any hope of catching on, I'm pretty sure Tom has squished that like a freakish little bug. The longevity of this belief system drops every time he opens his mouth.

I am thrilled that the boy is in love. I am thrilled that he might actually decide to take part in the rearing of this particular offspring (doesn't he have others?). It is entirley possible that the media is just ripping the poor schmuck to peices with falshoods - BUT - if anyone should learn to lay low, it should be him and it should be now. Tom, hon, please - leave it at the door. Just a little advice from your caring fan, and your mom, and your wife and both of the people who ever thought you had a clue.

As for me, I'm going to put my radio on the classical station for a while.
If you're amused by tabloid-Tom's antics - here's a spiffy little blog.
ScienTOMology
And NO, I won't boycott the Mission Impossible movies. They're still fun and pretty well written.

Have a happy Monday. Try to keep it a little less happy than Tom's. People might think you're certifiable.

April 28

Remember that Father's Day when you and I went to the little airport? We had BLTs in the restaurant and watched planes take off. We spent the day wandering the hangers and you showed me that strange airplane with the wings in the back. You said it was so the air over the wings was "clean" air. We had a pretty good day then, huh?
I miss you like hell.
Happy Birthday Daddy.

4-27-06 My next vacation:

For my next vacation, I'm going to Oz

I even have a map.


Not that I'll need one. I understand it's at the end of a long, yellow, brick road. ;P

Fridge Magnets

Have a little fun. Send a shout out.

Trée, the answer to the question "where do you find this stuff" is: I've been playing in the little kids' sandbox. And BOY do they have cool toys.

Have a litte "little kid" fun. :D

Dance baby, dance!

Is this the funniest thing you've ever seen or what??!!!

4-25-06 Today is brought to you by the letter "S"

Photo by John Kernick

Godsmack - Serenity
As I sit here and slowly close my eyes
I take another deep breath
And feel the wind pass through my body
I’m the one in your soul
Reflecting the light
Protect the ones who hold you
Cradling your inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don’t know
And how do we relight the flame when it’s cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Tragic visions slowly stole my life
Tore away everything
Cheating me out of my time
I’m the one who loves you
No matter wrong or right
And every day I hold you
I hold you with my inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don’t know
And how do we relight the flame when it’s cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control
I need serenity.

4-24-06 Monday

I think Monday is the drill seargent of the week. It's all yellin at you that you can't stay in bed and you have to be responsible.
I say we string up the drill seargent and lock him in a room for a few months.

That's it. Everybody gets to sleep in on Mondays.

4-22-06 Things to make you crazy

THE REFLEX GAME
Start before you drink...and watch yourself get progressively worse. Whoohooo. What fun!!!

BLOCK FRENZY
Now this is fun. I'm up to 26 seconds. Completely addictive!!

Today is Saturday. I have a 1pm appt to get my hair DONE. By DONE I mean I am going to take a deep breath and allow someone to add BLEACH. I have not done this in 20 years...but hey...something's got to blend these grays. Hahahah.

Here's me before:

And here's me after:

Oh come on! A gal can dream, right?

Y'all have a happy weekend.
::HUGS::

4-21-06 Happy Friday

Blogger's being evil again. Took forever to get the post to take.

When I was a child, my parents bought me a dollhouse. It was bigger than me. One of my fondest memories was going to the craft store to buy itsy bitsy replicas to put in that dollhouse. I was always fascinated with the 'realistic' pieces. I had ice trays with ice cubes, a whole china set with silverware, and even toilet paper on a roll. LOL
Alas, I grew up. The dollhouse and all it's tiny accessories were handed down and have spread to the wind.
Since then, I've always wanted a new one. Maybe that will be my birthday gift to me this year. :)
Here is Grace's Dollhouse if you want to see what all the fuss is about. I think she did it up quite nicely.


Did you have a favorite childhood toy? If so, do you still have it or would you like to get a new one?

4-20-06 LIES

Lies.
We all tell them.
Little white lies. "No honey, your butt does not look big in those pants."


Outright lies. "You are more sexy now than you were when we met."


Lies of ommission. "That Johnny Depp movie looks intelligent." ("Let's go see it so I can drooooool.!")


I realized yesterday that I am HUGELY guilty of the "ommission" type. Fortunately, I am guilty of it to a point that it only hurts me.
See, I don't tell people when they do things that hurt me. I let them continue doing them. I never say "Hey, I really wish you wouldn't tell me all those self-destructive things you do. They make me worry about you and that's not healthy for me."
Instead, I listen. And then I advise. I try to fix their problem. I don't consider, at the time, what the outcome will be for me. After a while, we end up building a relationship around my listening, my rescuing, their being the victim. A pattern develops. All the while I am holding inside all the hurt and sadness and worry. I'm building resentment.

Could all of this have been stopped in the beginning if I had just set some boundaries? If I had just told the truth?
I assure you, the thought never occurred to me before. I do not even know how.

The subject came up of "Scrupulous Honesty". This isn't something I'm good at. It is something I want to learn.
Where to begin?

Happy Thursday.

4-19-06 Silliness

Life Lived Backwards (stolen from e-mail)

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end
of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the
way. You wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day
You work 30 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous (hey,
you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?!?) and you get ready for
High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a sweet baby, then, you spend your last 9
months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and then you finish off
as an orgasm.

4-18-06

Yeah....I got nothin. Can't think of one single, useful thing to post. Silly, huh?
Surfed a bit for inspiration and all I could come up with was a naked, singing cowbowy.

Ah well, there are worse things.....like the fact that when I look at naked, singing cowboy all I can think is "Man, his undies are WHITE. What laundry soap is he using??"
Maybe it's going to be one of those "shoulda stayed in bed days?"

I think I'll just surf your blogs instead. :D
Happy Tuesday.

4-17-06

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay,
My, oh, my, what a wonderful day.
Plenty of sunshine headin' my way,
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

Mister Bluebird's on my shoulder,
It's the truth, it's "actch'll"
Everything is "satisfactch'll."

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay,
Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!


Hope you all had a wonderful, happy weekend. (I'll be checking. :) )
Mine was grand. I spent the entire weekend wrapped in the arms of my wonderful husband. We shopped, went out to eat, went to a hockey game, watched a movie and just spent the whole weekend focused entirely on one another. It's a rare thing when we put aside the daily b.s. and just be.
It was quite beautiful and I am filled with a sense of connectedness that I have not felt in a great while.
Ah, there is peace it my heart today.

Much love to each of you and to those you love.
Happy Monday.

4-14-06 Easter?

Cute little bunny, huh?
Well, follow this link. Easter Crafts
I do not have the words to explain the true hilarity of that bunny.

Happy Easter Weekend.

4-13-06 ugh

I had the best post this morning...all about whipped cream.
BUT, blogger is bombing out like crazy and killing my posts before I enter them.
If this gets through, I want to know where Blogger Headquarters is located. Where on earth is 7:00a.m. a good time to do server maintenance??
Grumble.

Ok, WHIPPED CREAM!


You're smiling now, right?
It was really just for my coffee. :D

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
-Sydney J. Harris

4-11-06 In search of enlightenment

Taking a time to see things a bit more closely.


Kidney Cells


Mariposa Lily


Fingerprint

4-10-06

On April 8, 2006 at approximately 6p.m. Central time, my nephew said my name for the very first time. And he said it TO ME and he MEANT IT. He kept saying it all night and I could not be happier. hee hee


(Look at all those blonde curls. What a beauty this boy is.)

I love you little man.

Happy Monday all.

4-8-06 Drive Time

Truckin', I'm a goin' home. Whoa whoa baby, back where I belong,
Back home, sit down and patch my bones, and get back truckin' on.

Well, I'm settin off to drive what is effectively the entire lenght of Louisiana. hee hee - I just LOVE Texas. If you come from the East Coast, Texas is about 4 states long. (if you come from the Northeast, Texas is bigger than the whole lot of ya.)



Did you know that there are more miles between Dallas, TX and El Paso, TX than there are between El Paso and Los Angeles. Apparently we are 3 states wide as well.
Just a little jem from my logistics days.

Trée, you are cordially invited to come with. The winds in your area are getting mighty persnickity! Time to go visit some family in a less weather-stricken area, huh?

There, that's all the hick-ness I can offer up for a weekend. Y'all have a good one and I'll be back around on Monday or so.
((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

4-7-06 Friday Fodder

FRIDAY!!!

Sometimes, when I'm feeling less than inspired to post something inspiring, I do a Google image search of the word-of-the-day. Today's word was Friday.
Apparently, Friday brings out everything from "Friday the 13th" movies to the actor that played "Friday" on Swiss Family Robinson to "here's a pic of my cat named Friday". Also available are 4000 photos of "what we did on Friday".
Here's a clip from the smash 1980s hit "Friday After Next".


Classy, huh?
So I got to thinking: What did we do on Friday nights when we were kids?
And the answer is: Rollerskating.
We went rollerskating in tight jeans and disco colored tops and I could WALTZ on rollerskates. I still own the skates. They are black, leather speedskates. I was TOUGH. Bwahahaaha

So what did you do as a kid on Friday nights?

4-6-06 Anon

Therapy. Is it because I'm nuts or is it making me nuts? That's the question here.
Once every other week or so I spend an hour of my life with an absolutely lovely woman. We chat. We discuss. We attempt to gain some perspective about what ails me emotionally.
Each time I leave I feel a little bit better. Like I can take on the world afterall.
I think, I should really write down what we talked about so I don't forget it.
And then yesterday happened.
Some sort of...epiphany. An icky epiphany.

I don't disbelieve what she alluded to. In fact, I'm certain that she's on the right track. I also feel I might be in a bit of denial.

Here's the gist.
Hello. My name is Aggie and I am an Addict.
I am addicted to crisis.
I worry. Not about me but about everyone around me and then about me. I live my whole life in a state of "waiting for the other shoe to drop". If no shoe is currently dropping, I am confused and concerned and I begin looking for who has the shoe.
I didn't realize I did this, but to hear it from someone's mouth sure made it feel real.
Oddly, it all ties back to the kidney stones. Let's assume they are a manifestation of crisis. The crisis of my best friend came up and then this came up just after. This crisis happened to counter the one I could not control.

What is life like without crisis? I find that I really don't know.
Isn't that odd?

Well fine. I am an Addict and I am now in recovery. I will learn to stop waiting for the shoe to drop. Maybe when I do, stone #3 will just be gone.

Happy Thursday.

4-26-2006 First Photos of the Babies

There they are. Cute little buggers aren't they?
It could have been worse. I only had twins. I hear some people have litters.



Ok. Ok.
Now that your sides hurt from laughing so hard, we're pretty much in the same boat. hah
Actually, the doc took an X-ray and said (quite happily) "Well there's only one left and it's really small so you probably won't even feel it."
I have a few curse words for that doc. They all start with "OUCH". Apparently the last of the triplets doesn't quite want to be born and kept me up all night.
I might add that I started out with "one" and still have "one" and now I'm not real sure that doc has a clue.
He diligently tried to tell me I've passed two others already. I think he's snowing me and I still have the original one floating around in there.

Ah well. A couple more sleepless nights I suppose. That's normal for any new mom, huh?

Becky, I'll second your confession. Me too. Hah!
Terry, you slayed me with the LaBoyer thought. OMG! How funny is that??
As for the rest of you. Keep right on laughing. I like you like that.

Happy Humpday. (Speaking of humpday, at least my hubby doesn't have anything to do with my labor. He's completely off the hook. OMG, the kids aren't his. ACK!!)

4-4-06 Birth?

TODAY IS THE DAY (I hope)
Look, I got the babies' room all set up.


And to ensure that I'll be a good Mommy,
I even have the "baby care manual".



I'm fully prepared...just like any new mother.
Now, where's my Lamaze coach?

4-3-06

Well, we made it to April. There's something to be said for that.


Welcome to Daylight Savings. Remember, whatever time it is, it's actually an hour earlier. Blah. For example; my clock currently says it's 6:53a.m. but I know it's actually 5:53 and I should still be sleeping. Ah well.

As for the pet rock, it is now multiple pet rocks and they are still safe in the womb of my kidney. That whole process is NOT recommended. The kids will be born on Tuesday night....without an epidural unfortunately. (Are you all cringing?)
I would never wish this on anyone....but geeeze don't get on my bad-side because THIS is the curse I will put on all bad people. From this day forward, when someone is mean or treats someone I love badly I will say "Kidney stones on you!" That should humble them a bit.

Anyway, I've got a busy week and gotta prep for a drive to Houston on Saturday. Gonna go see that baby that makes me smile so much. :)
Here's today's laugh for all the mommies out there:


Have a good Monday all.

3-30-06 Today is a good day!

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands--and then just eat one of the pieces.
-Judith Viorst

Today is a good day.

First thing I saw today was this headline: U.S. Journalist Carroll Released in Iraq
This is the very best news to come from overseas since 9/11. Give thanks for the life of that young woman. The odds were not in her favor.






Today is a good day.

Last night my best friend said, "I'm tired of being sad. I've been sad and unhealthy for too long. I am going to find myself a therapist and I am going to get my life back together. I want to learn to be happy again."
I could not have heard better news and I told her so. I let her know how tremendously happy those words made me and how very proud I am to know that.
I heard in her voice that she sincerely means to do it too.







Today is a good day.

This evening I will head to the hospital and begin the induced labor of the pet rock inside my kidney. Sometime tomorrow, I hope to be pain free. That is a grand thing and I sincerely look forward to it.











Today is a good day. Have you got good news too? Please share it with me.
I won't be back online until Saturday or Sunday, but I'll be looking forward to happy thoughts about your worlds.

Ah...and happy HNT too.

3-29-06 Culture

Let's do something different. Let's turn our attention to things more beautiful and awe-inspiring.
Ladies and Gents, I present to you Mr. Julian Beever and his amazing Chalk Drawings.
He's tremendously talented, but his hands are very colorfully dirty. (all that chalk dust)






Many more fascinating drawings if you click on his name above.
Have a great Wednesday. Go dig for gold. :D

3-28-2006 Spread Happiness

"Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?"

That's one of my favorite Dr. Philisms. My Dad would have said, "You'd better shut up and get glad." Same point.

This is also known as "pick your battles". I believe wholly in this concept.

As The Drama Turns
Mother and Daughter spoke on the phone last night. I understand there were quite a few tears but neither one had the gumtion to say "I'm sorry." because both are dead set that the other was wrong.
Mother wants Daughter to "show me some respect" and Daughter wants Mother to "stop overreacting".
This whole, silly, stupid thing is because Mother felt her daughter wasn't respectful to her.

And so I took my shot. I've said very little and we've spoken very little since the incident. I waited it out. As soon as that target came into view, I took my shot.
I said, "The ONLY WAY this is going to get better is if the two of you agree to find a mediator. The only way either of you can see each other's side is to find a therapist and start going."
Of course there were excuses. Mother says Daughter won't go. Daughter says Mother won't go. I said, "You have both excused each other out of getting help. Get over it and make an effort."
Mother said she would call Daughter and let her pick the therapist of her choice and agree to go.
I said, "Being willing is the first step."
(Admitting you have a problem is the first step. I hope the therapist can pull that out of them.)

Anyway, I'm out. They're getting help and I don't want to hear another word about it. Whew!

So, pick your battles. Some things are not worth destroying a family. Being right is not always better than being happy.
SPREAD HAPPINESS!!

3-27-2006 "Poof!"

We all say the magic words:
"Ah-la-peanut-butter-sandwiches!"

and POOF!! She returns.

Sorry for the weekend disappearing act. Took myself a little downtime. Covered my head in blankets and played hide-and-go-seek with the world.

Not a bad weekend. Nothing phenomenal. I finished a good book. So there's that. :)
I did not, unfortunately, get rid of this kidney stone. Doc appt today. Yuk.

Thanks to all of you for your comments to the latest drama. There seems to be so much that I'm wondering if I'm the one addicted to it. (No, not really. It isn't me. I long for quiet and happier people than my current one.)
The friend is still my friend. I haven't dropped her on her head. I did, however, make it very clear that I had no time to listen to the complaining about her situation with her daughter. She got herself into it. She needs to "mom up" and get herself back on solid ground.
Of course, there would be no drama in that. So she's pushing the kid further away.

On top of that, a mutual friend's wife died this weekend. She was on a plane with her 20yr old daughter, coming back from London. She had a heart attack and died midway over the Atlantic. Can you imagine how awful??
So I told my friend again: "It is so very sad how we take each other for granted when we have no idea how long we've got...or haven't got." in hopes that she would get the point.
Rest assured that the point flew right over her head and I am done trying.

As for Dad, Mom and the Hospice - no medicare. Both were too young at the time. Mom has a document from the Hospice that says pro-bono and $0 and she'll use it against them when she's stronger. The insurance situation is a rough one. The place my father worked folded and Mom's having to deal with a lot of uncaring jerks at "the mother company" in Kansas. They don't know what they're doing and they've let her insurance lapse three times since November....even though she's paid the (not cheap) premiums. She calls when the bills aren't paid and then they apply her check to the right thing and then they re-institute insurance retroactively.
Who can keep up? Surely not her...and she won't let us kids get involved. She's a control freak...much like all three of her kids. :)

It's Monday. The world is just fine. It isn't fantastic but it's par for the course enough for me to deal with it smiling. :D
Y'all have a wonderful day. Big hugs to you and thanks a million times over for sticking with me during all the silly dramas. I do hope life gets back to boring soon. hee hee

3-24-2006 TGIF?

Kidney stone is still in place. Rats.

Back to Wednesday' subject:
Therapist reiterated the same as below. The freind has a "crisis addiction" and is likely bi-polar to boot.
Shrinkette says I am enabling her. Yes. I guess I am.
I'm trying to find a way to separate myself from my friend. There's a high burden of guilt, regardless of people saying "you are not responsible for her actions". Since I know her actions would be negative to my "ditching" her, aren't I somewhat responsible? I have prior knowledge.
It's frightening.
The idea of losing my best friend is frightening also.

BUT, yesterday she placed another nail in the coffin of our friendship. I had sent an e-mail telling her of the kidney stone event. A few hours later she called to check on me. Only, something wasn't right about the conversation. She quickly asked what they had given me for pain. I told her "Tramadol and something else that I haven't filled yet." She said, "Hydrocodone?" And there was a hopeful upturn in her voice. I clicked to it immediately and said "I don't think it's Hydrocodone. That stuff never really helps me." And her reply: "Well it makes me very happy. If that's what they gave you, I'll pay for it."
She wants my pain meds. Hydrocodone gives her a false sense of happiness and she's so depressed that she wants my pain meds, despite my pain.
I told her "No hon, I'm not going to do that." which was a very nice way of saying, "you selfish beotch!!!"
That really hurt. She hadn't called to check on me at all. She called for her own sake.

The other medicine is Hydrocodone. I'm going to fill the prescription. I'm not going to tell her.
I actually felt guilty about it.

Lastly, I called Mom to tell her of the hospital adventure and let her know I'd be alright....because you do that sort of thing.
I caught her on a really bad day.
Turns out the Hospice, where my father was for only 15hrs before he died, has sent my mother a bill for $2,000 and another from the doctor for $250. They had assured my mother that it was all pro-bono and she signed papers saying the same.
That doctor saw my father for 15 minutes. How's that for an hourly rate.
MD Anderson was supposed to check that Hospice to be sure it was covered by the insurance. Turns out the danged place was out-of-network as well.

I told Mom not to pay it. How I wish I could fix all the financial b.s. She's so overwhelmed. Dad would not want this.

So, I sound pretty bummed, but I'm not really. It's Friday and there's a weekend coming.
I'm late. Gotta run.

Have a great day all.

3-23-2006 Sneak attack!

HOLY MOLY!!! WE ARE IN P A I N !!!!!!!

Spent last night at the E.R.


Thought I had appendicitis. Actually, I thought I was dying and hoped I had appendicitis.
It was a nasty ride. Thank GAWD for painkillers.

It wasn't appendicitis. It is a kidney stone.
A kidney stone. For pain like that there should be more than A kidney stone.
Unfortunately, this stone is the size of a dime. This is gonna hurt like hell.

We are now in wait-and-see mode. This is where we determine if I will give birth in a hospital or at home. Or worse yet, at work.
Could be hours, could be weeks. I'm going to drink 40 gallons of water a day just to be sure it can't beat me.

I'm not liking this at all.

So, for HNT, I proudly present "my insides". (insert mental image here)
Ewwww.