12-11-06 Monday and such...

I've been on "vacation" since Thursday. By "vacation" I mean "not at work" but instead "marathon shopping". Ugh. Ah well. It had to be done. Merry ho-ho-ho and such as that.

Today is Monday and I must return to reality. (somewhat glad to do so)

For your amusement, I am leaving you with this very disturbing Dancing Spiderman. It's a very creative .gif....that leaves me with more questions than answers.

Happy Monday.

12-6-2006 It is time....

It is time for a quote post....in order to clean out the e-mails I'm holding in my inbox for just such an occasion. I hope you feel just a little wiser by the end.


The purpose of life is not to be happy. The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive, to have it make some difference that you lived at all.
-Arthur H. Prince

When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself.
-Tecumseh, Shawnee Chief

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
-Will Rogers

Most of us spend our lives as if we have another one in the bank.
-Ben Irwin

12-5-06 I finally have the proof....

If you ever find yourself sitting and pondering the question, "I wonder why Aggie hasn't posted in a while", (because you spend your days wondering about me, I know), allow me to clear up the mystery. In the spirit of Bigfoot, UFOs and that silly TV show with the "Mulder" character, I have attained the proof.

Allow me to show you exhibit A:


As you can tell, I am visiting Terry's site, and I have a popup window there on the upper left. That window is full of the number 5. I don't know why Mishu filled it with the number 5. I suspect it was accidentally entered by her 4th rib or so (considering her posture).

Anyway...there's the proof. The cats own us and they rarely allow us to play human games anymore.
Mishu says "Pththththththt!"

12-4-06 What it's all about.....

11-30-06 H-N-T

Aww..what the hell...how about an HNT?


It is 29 degrees outside and dropping...in DALLAS! Weeeeee...let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. I'll have to wear my snowboots today.


Happy Thursday. If it's cold where you are, set something on fire (the desk, the boss, the sig-oth etc) and keep yerself warm!
Lots of love.
Aggie

11-29-06..because yesterday was the 28th!

BOTH nephews.
I finally got a picture of the other one. He usually doesn't sit still long enough.

Andrew - all personality, funny, amazingly creative - draws and creates music.

Riley - center of attention, polite, sympathetic, kind, a deep thinker


Nora is on the way. Due in January.
I look at them and I wonder what kind of adult they will be. I sincerely hope they will be successful and happy. I know they will be loved.
Happy Wednesday.

11-29-2006 Again...

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

11-27-2006

The Thanksgiving holiday was nice. I got to spend 4 days at Mom's and visit my brother's family and my sister's family. My cousin and his gal are moving into the house next door to my mother. I'm thrilled about this. I'm glad there will be someone close to watch over her...and for her to watch over as well. Mom owns that house and the cousin is going to spend time/effort fixing it up. It is in pretty dire need of some TLC, so this is also good.

There are times when it is very hard to find some good in the world. I'm going to take a minute to try.
-My sister will have her second baby in two months.
-My best friend got a new car. (she really needed it) It has a 6 disc cd changer. That's great compared to just having radio before. It's a safer vehicle too.
-My brother bought an HDTV - and it's freaking incredible. His house is so nice and his family really seems to be in a good place right now.

Ok. Those are good things. :D
I hope you are all having good things in your lives too.
Thanks for taking the time to visit.
Hugs.
Aggie

Holidays and such

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
Football
That nap after dinner
Food food food
Family

Can I just give Thanks for Thanksgiving?

Have a very happy week and a happy holiday, if you celebrate it.
Drop a line and tell me what your favorite thing is about the holidays.
Much Love to you all,
Aggie.

Gummy Bear Silliness

Wait for the cow. I dance like the cow.
Gummy Bear Dance 2

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Becky, tell me what the little one thinks of it. Riley just raised an eyebrow. LOL

Thursday

Just another boring Thursday.
Sometimes I do a Google search for inspiration. I think it's important that we know that Googling the words "Thursday Morning" will provide you with a picture of:
Chewbacca

I don't know why.

So, a quick status of the world from my eyes out:
Work is ok but iffy. We might have a year before the office closes, or a month. No one knows except the people who bought us. They're all "hush-hush". I try not to worry. I just want to get through December. (I said that last year and it didn't really work out.)
"If we make it through December, we'll be fine." (if we don't....?)

Hubby's got a bum elbow and he's looking for doctorism. I hope he finds it and the thing gets better.

Hubby's Dad is doing treatments for bladder cancer. This sucks entirely.

Bob Barker is "retiring". (translated to "dying") I so wish he were just retiring. That makes me sad. He should have some life without work.

My sister's baby girl is due in January. My cousin just announced that he and his gal are expecting too. YAY!

Mom's ok but these months are hard for her. She's stronger than we ever gave her credit for...just for getting this far. I worry all the time.

My best friend is looking to me for hope. I'm trying. Maybe I'm doing ok finding hope, although the loss of her daughter is just now starting to hit home with me. I think I'm big on delayed reactions.

I guess that's it. Nothing else.
Gotta do Christmas shopping soon. Waited til the last minute again.

Happy Thursday all.

Happy Halloweeeeeeeennn

Monday's turn....

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.
-Ralph Waldo Emmerson

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

The only people to get even with are those who have helped you.
-Anonymous

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
- Buddha.

Mediator

Main Entry: 2me·di·ate
Pronunciation: 'mE-dE-"At
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -at·ed; -at·ing
Etymology: Medieval Latin mediatus, past participle of mediare, from Late Latin, to be in the middle, from Latin medius middle
transitive verb
1 a : to bring accord out of by action as an intermediary b : to effect by action as an intermediary
2 a : to act as intermediary agent in bringing, effecting, or communicating : CONVEY b : to transmit as intermediate mechanism or agency
intransitive verb
1 : to interpose between parties in order to reconcile them
2 : to reconcile differences

I believe that the first year of loss is the most difficult. I believe that everyone grieves differently and on an entirely different timescale as another might grieve the same loss. I believe that no loss is greater than another; every loss is entire to the individual left behind...left alive.

I believe that loss and grieving changes us in ways we had no idea we could change. I believe that change comes gradually...and yet, it comes constantly. Some changes are for the better. Some changes are much worse.
I believe grief over-rides patience. That is one consistency I see in all of us.
We have less patience for each other.
I believe loss makes us selfish, even if for only a time. Suddenly our world revolves around us - our loss - our emotions - our ability or inability to cope with every little thing.
I believe that loss confuses reason. It blows up our emotions and makes us incapable of realizing the affect we have on others.

I believe it makes us very sad.

I believe that loss takes all of the puzzle pieces of our lives and throws them to the wind for us to find again and put them back. I believe we never find them all and when we do, they don't fit where they were before.

I believe we love each other as much but we want each other to see our pain instead of feel their own. Misery/company etc.

I wish (but I no longer believe in wishes).
I wish we could stop over-emoting and start understanding. I wish we could put patience and sympathy before anything we want. I wish we could love unconditionally, like we're supposed to. Like we do but we don't express anymore.
I wish we could all step back and accept that we are cracked and bruised and aching and full of fear for our own futures.

I wish. I try.
I see us falling apart.
I can't stop it. I can't mediate.

But tomorrow things will be different. I wait for tomorrow and I pray.

How to fall asleep?

I have a question. I've had it for ages and asked it a few times. It seems the function of "going" to sleep is a very individual thing. It may speak directly to the core of our individuality actually.

How do you go to sleep?
To be very direct, what does your brain do just before you slip out of consciousness?
You've had a good day. Nothing extraordinary has happened. There is no stress pending the sunrise. (It's a Saturday night and all you did was yardwork or something all day.)
It's 11pm. You click off Saturday Night Live, roll over, get in your comfy position and then...what happens inside your brain?

It seems an odd thing to ask but can be difficult to answer. The idea is so foreign to some that I've had the response "I don't understand what you mean." This comes from a person who closes their eyes and simultaneously begins to snore. This is not a blessing I've ever had.

My answer: Yes, the day plays in my head and sometimes other scenarioes of myself having productive discussions with other people - but - those scenarioes will not allow me to sleep. I must pretend. I must mentally project myself OUT of my own world. I must imagine myself elsewhere and generally with people I do not know. I suppose it is "fantasy" that gets me to sleep. I must do it though. Every night. Without fail. Not to do so means not to sleep.

How do you go to sleep?

Love and warm hugs to all of you. Sorry for my absence. I seem to be on a two week post schedule lately.

Trying to catch up (a.k.a the superlong post from hell)

Yes. The new cats have taken over the house. They have broken us down to our most basic selves and built us back up as their slaves. We now, joyfully, provide every amenity of comfort at all times.
In return, they make silly meowing noises at random times (this keeps us on our toes) and they occasionally pounce a toy to see if we'll come running and, once again, emit coos while repeating "isn't that the cutest thing"?
It's all very embarrassing.
Momma Kitty says "Pthththththt!"


My best friend was approved to volunteer at Baylor Children's Hospital. This is supposed to be theraputic. I'll leave it at that.
Otherwise, she's doing fairly well.

My hubby went to Albuquerque to visit his brother and new neice. His parents flew there from North Carolina so it was a pretty good get-together. The only downside is the very recent diagnosis of my hubby's father's bladder cancer. He's quite uncomfortable and a plan of attack has yet to be determined. However, his father is an amazingly upbeat person so I have a great deal of hope.

Mom's doing fairly well. My sister is now 7 months re-pregnant. We will have a new girl in the family in January. Nora Beth. I'm excited. We all are.
This will be the sister of that little boy I keep posting...and, of course, I just did again. Can you believe those curls? I'm such a proud aunt.

Also, if anyone can translate this:

...it would be greatly appreciated. I've looked everywhere trying. We were told that the top symbols meant "Endurance" and the bottom one "Justice". We now think it was something entirely different. They were Jessica's tatoos. Her mother wants to get them now...but not without knowing what they really mean.

Finally, I did a quick look back. October 18th, 2005 - one year ago....oblivion. It seems like a minute ago and a century ago. It's a good feeling to look back at that. Good and bittersweet. Oh, to be that child again. The one in the picture and the one who was looking at the picture.

Peace, love, hope, happiness and FREE HUGS to every one of you. I hope this post finds you in a comfortably bored place in life. :) There's a helluva lot to say for comfortable boredom. Don't ever take a good rut for granted.
Aggie

WedgieDay

Happy WedgieDay


(Marking the events of my life: There are a great many mysteries surrounding Jessica's death. Lies that have been exposed. Odd questions that may forever go unanswered. The life of a teen/young adult is frought with drama and secrets.
How we wish she were here now to clear all of this up.
Will there ever be closure for her mother? I do not know.
I have learned that acceptance is open to translation. One accepts...but not that the person is gone. One accepts that one lives on. That is all.)

Happy Wednesday(Wedgieday) to all.

Time?

Where does all the time go?
It seems I've been running at 100mph since the kitten came into our lives. Every moment is; clean a litter box, change a food or water bowl, play with me! play with me!.

In between I'm trying to get dressed for work, buy groceries, cook dinner, fix/eat breakfast, watch a show that I recorded on TiVo because I didn't have time to watch it before.
The morning begins and suddenly it's time for bed again. The days are full.

I want to finish my computer game (final level of Unreal II), finish one of the books I started, chat online, open my e-mails (I'm constantly behind), catch up with bloggers, check on Rik Emmett, watch all of my new Green Day DVD, watch those recorded shows before next weeks shows get recorded too. I need to go to the bank, go to the gas station, go to the store. I never seem to have time.

Of course, I don't blame kitties. I'm glad kitties are here. I just haven't worked them into my schedule quite yet. I can't ignore them and that little one defines cat-nap. She only sleeps for an hour at a time. She's a ball of energy bouncing on my head.
Right now, she wants to play with my fingers because they're clicking on the keyboard. Must be something fun there. LOL

Ah well...maybe Saturday.....I just never know.
Love and hugs.

12 days later

How busy I have been.
Calico still has no real name. She's Leetle Kitty (a.k.a. Momma Kitty, Schitzo, Sybil).
Speaking of Mommas...my very own Momma came to visit. We had a wonderful time. We were so busy though. Lots of shopping and eating. A little movie watching and visiting.

Mom rode up with my cousin on 9/7 and flew home on 9/10. That's significant because this was my mother's very first plane ride. She liked the flying part. She wasn't comfortable though. It takes a while, I guess, to learn all the nuances of "comfortable" plane seating....if there is such a thing. Air vents, pillows, reclining chairs, window shades etc.
Also, she flew on a small jet. Those are such a pain. I hope she'll fly with me sometime in a big plane to some wonderful destination.

Then, on 9/14 Mishu came home. Mishu is one of Momma Kitty's babies. Momma Kitty recognized Mishu right away. Mishu did not recognize Momma though. Instead, Mishu got all pissy and hissed and smacked at Momma. What a tude for an animal that doesn't even weigh a full pound yet. LOL

By Saturday, Mishu had given in to all the licking and loving and playing and now they're happy campers.

I had forgotten how much energy kittens have. OMG that is the bounciest critter.

So anyway, they're keeping us awake and we're trying to teach them when to eat and sleep and cut us some slack.

Neither one of them like PoohCat...but Pooh is very old and very diabetic and nearly blind so I think he doesn't care. He lives in the bedroom and never comes out. He's our night-time baby.

Aside from the above insantiy, all is well....as well as can be anyway.

My best friend is going through stages. She has much professional theraputic help...which is very very good because I sure didn't have it in me to walk through this process again. I keep watching and hoping. It's all we can do.

Much love to all of you. Thank you for checking back with me during my droning absence.

Oh, one more thing...I turned 39 for the first time yesterday. Woohooo. :D

A Cat With No Name

Hullo. I'm the one they call "the new cat". This is a picture of me, napping. I nap a lot. I generally stop napping when they turn out all the lights. Oooo...I like the dark.

The people here can't figure out my name. They keep saying it will come to them but it has been 5 days and they're still calling me "Little Kitty". How silly.
I've got a very sweet disposition...unless you bring that upstairs cat down. Then I'll throw a hissy-fit. (literally)

I understand that I'm very amusing to the people. I don't see what's so funny. I'm just honing my hunting skills. When I was a stray, I hunted all the time; and bunnies move a lot faster than this silly catnip mouse. I really do like the catnip though.

The people seem to be amused by my tongue. Yes, I clean A LOT but it's next to godliness and must be done. So what if my tongue sticks out when I stop. Sometimes that tongue needs a break. It's hefty work licking an entire cat.

Ok, I'm going to turn off the computer. They don't know yet that I surf the net when they're away. All I need now is a credit card and that 20 foot post is mine, all mine!

Oh, my new Mommy wants to know a foreign name for tongue. (a female foreign name)
I think she wants to name me that. ACK. The lady is crazy.

Buh-bye