The CEO said: "I need you to help me support her."
And I replied: "In what capacity?"
He took a pause to ponder that. This isn't the last of THAT conversation.
He said, "She's not comfortable w/moving to the other side of the wall."
and "Help me figure out how to give her more room."
and "We need to be sensitive because she thinks no one cares."
and I thought... "If EVERYONE cared, she'd still think no one cares."
He said, "There's some depression going on."
I'm no longer speaking at all. Just thinking.
And I thought, "Oh yeah? Ya think? Shrinkette maybe??- Oh wait - it's not her. It's all of us. It's a conspiracy."
The CEO said his wife is taking a class on how to be there for others. (THAT was transparent.)
And I thought "I could teach that class - but I'd advise against it. It's not good on the health. Does your class teach how not to let them drag you into hell with them? It's pretty exhausting. Do you just keep a distance? If you do, then your sincerity is fake."
And I thought, "Also, if I offer to take work from her - (which I have and she refuses because you'd feel less sorry for her if she didn' t have such a big burden) - then I've enabled her. Then I've paid her off....and that's what she's after. It will only begin again. There is no way to satisfy that. It is entirely cyclical. This will not end, nor will it better. She will continue like this until she self-destructs and I'm not willing to watch that again. Sorry. Been down that road. It ends badly. I will not care again. I will not feel again.I am sorry that I can't be compassionate anymore. Compassion is for suckers. Once you're a big enough sucker for it, you'll know too."
....and internal conversations.....
6 comments:
Left you a longer message on the other, so just going to leave you a 'happier days ahead' here, xo
Why don't they just put her on sick leave? Doesn't sound to me as if she's doing much good over there anyways. Geez...all this fuzzing about.
Autumn, both comments taken closely to my heart, and thank you. Your words mean more than you know to me. The hugs here are sometimes better than any because there's a different kind of sincerity here. Here, we speak words we don't say to the people around us....and to be heard...REALLY heard....
Much love to you dear. Thank you again.
Christa, your comment speaks close to the heart of the matter. See, the CEO, although a nice man, is a "saver". Though I applaud his empathy, he is the reason she still has a job. I've seen this all before, and much more closely. One day, it will cost him. It will cost him relationships, sleepless nights and, ultimately, it will cost him me. I'm not willing.
Yes. She's a sod. I loved that word from your last response. It's very Monty Python to me. :D Silly sod. lol
Love to you and Robin. Thanks for taking the time to tolerate "all this fuzzing about." You make me smile every time.
hey,
Smile will ya!
>:D<
Well, if I really must. :-D~
(so you know, I am smiling really big right now.)
You make me smile Rupen. Thank you for that.
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