Monday - phone call from headhunter with decent job offer. (Nice guy too.)
The owner came by to ask if I felt better. I said "Yes, thanks." I don't think he grasped the sniffling and talking through my nose. This turns out to be significant later. **
He then tells my cellmate that she has to switch cubicles (to the very back one) by the end of the week.
Tuesay-Wednesday - same old blah and angry cellmate. She's complaining about the move. The CEO told her it was because "she's too loud" so she complains in whispers now.
Thursday - the move happens early in the day but the office hasn't planned well and she's left without her phone or fax for the remainder of the day. She sulks around the office and complains with her head down. She won't look at me and I realize the people who hang around her are giving me the cold shoulder. I'm silent about the entire situation. I work and stay out of it. I want to scream "I'm not the reason you got moved. YOU ARE." but I don't know if that's the truth.
I feel guilty.
The headhunter calls back for clarification of some items on my resume.
Friday - It's a good day for me because the cellmate is far enough away now that I cannot hear her endless complaints. Still, there are comments by others that her mood is angry. To me, she just looks like her feelings are hurt. That makes me sad and even more guilty feeling.
Regardless, I start thinking I can handle this. Some of the burden has lifted.
I get home and the headhunter has scheduled me for an interview next week. I'll have to lie to take the time off. I should be excited...but...
Now I'm conflicted because this company has pandered to me just for the sake of keeping me......and I'm entertaining another offer. I can't decide if I should tell the headhunter "Nevermind" or continue on. ***Furthermore, the CEO asks me, "How did you get over that flu so quickly." (I told him, "I didn't. I had it for a full week." and he says "But you came to work." and I said, "I didn't really have a choice because cellmate was out and her situation took priority.")
I realize later that he asked because he thinks I left for a job interview instead of the flu....which I didn't but now I'm going to next week. I feel like I'm busted. PRE-busted. haha.
The whole situation is starting to wear on me. I feel guilty. (PRE-guilty).
I've decided that I will interview at the other company anyway. It might turn out to be the answer, and it might not - but don't I owe myself the perspective? I might just turn it down because it's an insanely long drive and I've gotten spoiled to the 8 minute run I've got now.
I think I want to continue where I am...........then I look back at previous posts and I think "What am I thinking? Happiness cannot be found here." Can it? Have I just not had the opportunity to be happy yet?
I feel like I owe this company the opportunity because they have put in the effort for me. Shouldn't I put some effort back?
The bottom line is that I'm looking for a 25 year job.
Is this it? Is the new offer it? Is there such a thing for me?
Conflicted.
6 comments:
Don't feel guilty for looking out for a better opportunity for yourself. There are so many people out there who would gladly step on others (alive or dead) to get what they want, and from the sound of it lately I think you deserve to get things your way too for a change.
In the meantime I'm glad they they finally separated that whiny creature from your immediate surroundings at the office. And ignore the glares from the others. Give them a couple of more weeks and they will be just as sick and tired of her as you are.
Glad to hear that you're (almost) doing better :hugs:
I recently went for an interview and the interviewer noticed that I usually stik around in an organization for at least 3 years. She mentioned that is long, asnowadays in this part of the world 1 to 2 years is the norm. I think the relationship you have with any organization is not a marriage (...till death do us apart...), rather it is like a relationship in your teens. Sometimes they are nice, othertimes they aren't, either way they are never life long.
I feel if you are getting better value from somewhere else, then hop. But, do weigh your odds. New places means new relationships and that takes time. Not going for interviews is wrong, I mean, opportinities come to those who try!
Great to know you're feeling better :)
Later,
Rupen
I have mixed emotions but only those that are generated by fear of lack of a job. I become a MPP (most panicked person) when I think I might be unemployed - with visions of bag ladies running through my head. I think in today's world, job loyalty is a myth. It used to be something to strive after, and be proud of, but in the present corporate world companies have no qualms at lopping off a few hundred workers in a single blow and do so regularly. My advice to you is look out for number one - you. Everybody is scratching for that worm - and the goings getting tough. Don't you dare not go to interview - you deserve all the chances you can get.
eek! Its been so long since I've stopped by. Sorry about that!
Well well Ms. Agnes...how in the heck are ya??? :o)
Update required. Came by to give you an incentive. You have been tagged by me, go check my blog.
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