Monday, May 17, 2004

5-17-2004 MONDAY

A couple of interesting notes:
1) I did the math today and realized I'll be thirty-seven in two months.
The silly part is that I have been telling people I'm thirty-seven for the last year. I am not. I am thirty-six. (and apparently lacking heavily in mathematical skills) So....10 months into thirty-six I realize that I have lost a year....or did I gain it....because it is really all perspective.
2) 10:30am today we got the news that the contract would not be renewed. That leaves me with an odd mix of emotions. I am relieved. In six weeks things will be different. Surely things will be better than now. Also, I'm very good at "start-ups" so new business should be enjoyable for me. Not to mention a whole new set of people to be friendly with. This means I can drop all the annoying old ones.
I'll miss a couple. But a couple out of a hundred isn't much to miss. Besides....it just falls into my life of impermanence. I'll move on and they'll forget me and no one will care in a year's time.
Less baggage this way.
Unfortunately - it also leaves me with no guarantee of employment. For all I know, I can take my ulcer and go. Better heal this thing in 6 weeks. Changing insurance makes this is a pre-exi$ting condition. Cha-ching.
And what if I find myself with a smaller paycheck next time? And what if I end up in the same damned job. And why don't I figure out how to franchise and get a job that will be around for a few years???
What does being a franchise owner do to your resume? Is it one of those things you can't turn back from? Will it pay the bills? Is it time to get smaller bills?
Shit.
Shit and crap and darn.
Impermanence. The second strongest theme of my life. Unrequitted and Impermanent.

Watch these days go by. They should be very interesting.

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