So what does it do to Jill?
Work. Work work work. Work some more.
I dread it.
I am engulfed in it.
I am nothing without it.
I loathe it.
I fear it.
It is like laundry...there's always more to be done.
It is not like laundry - there isn't really as much pressure to wash as to work.
Subject change...sorta...
Is it hormonal? I can't stop crying.
Everything makes me cry.
Sitting here....makes me cry.
Talking to ANYONE makes me cry.
The self-pity thing is annoyingly overwhelming. I HAVE to let it go.
I HAVE to work at being happier.
My life is not bad.
I have love. I have family. Good good family.
I have friends. Good caring friends.
I have my husband. Trying so hard husband.
I have the cats. Happy cats.
I have a roof over my head. Food in my belly. Brand new cars. Music in my life. Cable TV. Broadband internet. SOME finer things.
I'm not really at risk of losing much even if the job changes.
WHY am I miserable?
WHY can't I stop crying.
WHY am I so lost in the self-pity.
WHY do I feel alone and heart-broken and empty?
I don't understand why I can't pick myself back up.
I don't understand why no one can help me.
I don't understand why I can't help myself.
I need downtime.
I need my toes in the sand and an ocean to play in.
I need to STOP for a while.
I need perspective.
I need hope.
I can sit here and dwell on a thousand (million) things I don't have.
(have not done, will never do...)
Why can't I be content with what I do have?
So many people have so much less.
No comments:
Post a Comment