...And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
***
All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.
"There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark."
Eclipse
Roger Waters
(The escape is music. It always has been, hasn't it?)
I want to note, for those of you watching, that yesterday was my first "good" day. (I almost said "in months" but I recanted. I don't really want to try to count.)
Regardless, a weight lifted. I don't know how or why. Maybe it was the extra sleep after so much exhaustion. Maybe it was the freedom of not putting on that mask.
I feel better. Maybe I'm starting to make some sense of it. Maybe I've let it go for a moment. I don't suspect it will stay down, but for now....relief.
I'll leave you today with some words from the obit. The reason I want to share this is because it came from my mother's heart. She toiled so hard over it and worried that she didn't write it well.
I told her that I think it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. The words seem to capture all that they were together and all that we were as a family.
(I have edited out all the names for privacy.)
My Father, 63, passed from this life into God's arms December 31, 2005 from cancer. Welcomed into heaven by His Loving Parents. A wonderful, kind, caring, and gentle man. He loved his family and friends. He always loved to laugh and joke, and to go out to eat. He worked hard to keep everyone happy and when things were down he would always try to find a way to help us look to better days ahead. He was a loving and devoted husband to My Mom for 41 years. Through all the really rough times he was the one who held us together.
He is survived by…son, daughters, grandchildren, cousins, nieces, nephews, in-laws and a host of very close friends.
In lieu of flowers, please take the money you would have spent on flowers and take someone you love to dinner and give a toast to him. He will be cremated and his ashes will be mixed with his wife’s at the time of her passing. Their ashes will be spread over the wildflowers in the Texas Hill Country that they loved so much.
6 comments:
Seems to me too, Mom did a perfect job.
Agnes, good to hear you are feeling better, a good nights sleep can do wonders.
Love and hugs, x
There is nothing which speaks more eloquently than the love of one's own heart. Thank you for sharing those words about your Dad - the love with which they were written conveys him quite clearly.
Have you ever listened to Jackson Browne's "The Dancer"? When my husband died in April of 2004 I couldn't listen to it without completely coming apart. Although it still makes me cry, it is an appropriate vehicle for reflective thoughts on the death of a loved one.
The solar panels of my soul are soaking up the sun today so that I might send as much love as possible to 10pm. The sun may cry and the moon may rust, but my love will find a find to let you know you have stolen a bit of my heart. I'm waiting on the corner, catch up when you can. And bring the boots. :-)
Absolutely beautiful obit Agnes. No one could have possibly said it better or done your father more justice.
Well I have been just awful about replying to comments lately....but I am reading and taking every word to heart.
Terry, I love Jackson Browne but I don't have that song. I'll have to see if I can find it. Dad loved music so much and he shared that love with us. There are so many songs that remind me of him.
We played John Lennon's "In My Life" at his funeral. It was very fitting.
Yes, music is the exact vehicle for reflective thoughts. And there is nothing at all wrong with a good cry.
Autumn, Maybe it was a good night's sleep that helped. We'll see how the workweek turns out. (no more misplaced anger! lol)
Tracey and Linny, I agree that it was very beautiful. Before I read it, I tought that it would upset me badly. When I did, I was just so very moved. They really had an incredible love. They were ONE.
That is so rare.
Trée dear, I keep that bit of your heart tucked close to my own.
I've got my boots and I know where that corner is. Trust that I'll be there soon.
Glad to hear that you are having good days, Agnes. And I think that since the tension is gone from all the worrying and all the traveling (and all that driving on the freeways) you've got some space to breathe.
Focus on yourself and your mom and try to laugh and smile just as much as you cry.
:hugs:
Post a Comment