Monday, January 30, 2006

1-30-01 Monday

Sunday was a wasted day. Did nothing at all.
Painted the blogwalls a bit but don't know if I really care for the outcome. Think I want a do-over. Even had a fractal-blah day. Couldn't get my mojo working. Ah well. No complaints. The hubby had exactly the same kind of day. I guess we're allowed to blow one off every now and again.

Of course, it goes completely against everything in my brain right now. My thoughts are more along the line of "don't waste a single moment" and "life is too short for butt-on-couch days".

That was the entire theme of the Queen Latifa movie. My personal critique (move over Ebert) is that the movie is very "rentable". Which means, "don't spend the rediculous sum of money that the theater charges just to see it." It was a nice date-movie kind of thing. I'll give that it had a few very good tear-jerker moments....but that was probably just me.

***SO***Since my mind is saying "don't waste" and "love your family and friends and make them feel loved" I have this very important thing to add.
I spent the 4+hrs with my best friend listening to her story about the nasty arguement she had with her daughter. Of course Momma Bear thinks she's entirely right. Baby Bear (20yrs old and 4.0 in pre-law) thinks Momma Bear doesn't love her when she yells. She also, of course, thinks she's completely right.

Now I used to get in the middle of these things. Counsel, if you will. It's my nature.
I can see both sides. I am the objective one. (A trait from my father who negotiated many a heated arguement between my mother and I in my youth).
This time.........this time all I could do is sigh and say "I just think it's sad that the two of you are fighting when you only have 4 months left before she goes out of state."
What I'm thinking is "she could die in a car wreck tonight and wouldn't you wish you weren't right then?"
Dr. Phil's voice in my head "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?"
Pick happy please.
I just kept repeating "Does it really matter? Is it all that important?"
It wasn't a trivial arguement. Momma Bear is mostly right...but in the grand scheme of things, it just isn't important to fight about it. Momma Bear wants Baby Bear to be more considerate of Momma Bear (who does everything for her). Momma Bear wants Baby Bear to "GROW UP!"
And I say, "Momma Bear, the only thing that will ever make her "GROW UP" is experience. All the screaming you ever do will not change her. She simply has to learn on her own."
Sigh.

I can fight as hard as the next person. I can hold a grudge for years.
But if you have an arguement with someone you love, for crissakes, let them off the hook - let yourself off the hook - and end it with "I love you."
Quickly.
In case they step in front of a bus.

Have a GOOD Monday all. XOXOXO

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're absolutely correct - as usual :) Happy is a lot more important than being right. Most ppl don't see it that way though. Easy to get blind I guess.

Have a great day Agnes...and I saw the makeover you've done around here late last night, but was too tired to comment on it. Looks neat though...I like the background a lot :)
:hugs:

Autumn Storm said...

Really like the background.
And that was one hellava post! Guess, we all know it, but its most often hard to remember in heated moments. Most try to, I think, certainly we all have such moments to regret and nobody wants more of them.
Hope you are having a good day.
Love and hugs, x

tsduff said...

Wow, your site has become so beautiful. I don't know how to do that. And how more cool it is that it is your own art.

It seems that every day I'm reminded that we are all here too fleetingly. Whether it be ourselves or someone we love who snuffs out, we are never prepared although we try hard to be. Each experience does give us deeper arms with which to comfort others who find themselves confronted with a loss.

Agnes said...

Christa, we take so freaking much for granted, don't we?

Autumn, I think you hit the nail on the head. My father and I rarely ever argued and NEVER left each other without an "I love you" and a hug if we could get it. And my father hugged with all his heart every time.
But there are still regrets. I want to live the rest of my life without regrets. Particularly without the ones I could have just as easily fixed by saying "I'm sorry" or just letting someone else be "right". It doesn't always matter. "Pick your battles" I guess.

Tracey, you're welcome in my "digs" anytime. :) That makes me feel like "pull up a couch and have a drink" lol.
I think we're all internalizing that more than we're externalizing it. I might start preaching and they (the general public) might have to start listening. ;)

Terry, Fleetingly is ever present in my thoughts now. It should have been for many years before.
Each experience does give us deeper arms with which to comfort others who find themselves confronted with a loss.
That's a beautiful statement. I'm going to add that to my quotes page...at the top.
Unfortunately, I want my arms to be deeper but they aren't just now.
I guess I'm seeking the depth of other's this time. I know that I will have a much greater compassion when someone else has to go through this.

As for "painting the blogwalls", thanks all for compliments. I must have tried 20 different things before I found something that wasn't distracting. I want to try some others too. I felt like it had to be my own art. Not really right to use someone else's unless you give credit.
(Expect that I might steal from Trée though. hee hee)
I've got to create a fractal that looks like Spring. That's my next mission. :)

Love and hugs and hope to all of you.

tsduff said...

Agnes, I've never had anyone save a quote - I'm honored. I went and checked out your quote link - your choices are awesome. There are many there that I will take out and put up on my computer (my brain is so sieve-like I can't remember them very long). It is a wonderful collection. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Yawp, unfortunately we take a lot of things for granted without even reflecting.

If you want a complete make-over, I can give you free webspace, a subdomain (http://agnes.awfulsouls.com or if you would want something else) a Wordpress installation and a new look if you want it but don't really have the energy or urge to do it yourself.
Just gimme a holler and I'll set it up for you :)