Sunday, July 23, 2006

7-23-06 Life part two

Is there EVER a time when life is normal, safe, boring, daily, consistent? Is there ever a time without grief? Is there, somehow, joy? Sustained joy? Is there sustained joy???

How often do we have to watch our dreams break and fall away? If the cycle is: hope, dream, lose, again and again, why do we still bother to hope or dream? What bizarre resiliance keeps us wanting to hope all over again?

When we marry, why do we believe in forever? It's rarely real.
When we give birth, why do we believe that love is unconditional. It isn't.
We hope for financial freedom. We plan for vacations. We pretend tomorrow isn't going to be a train wreck....but those trains wreck. They usually always wreck.

I don't understand anything anymore. This is a terrible ride and I want to take everyone I love to Disneyland and heal us all.
Why does it have to keep getting worse??

---Baby, I love you so much. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for the things you're suffering right now. I wish I could make it alright again. I wish I could just take all the pain away and make everything all better.
WHY CAN'T I FIX US?

REWIND REWIND REWIND REWIND REWIND REWIND REWIND REWIND

2 comments:

Christa said...

That's what they call hope.
It's the last thing that'll leave us and it's there because we have all those illusions.
Life is a challenge and we haven't even chosen to take it on. That's what our parents did.

Lets go to Disneyland and hope that we won't lose each other in the crowd ;)

Agnes said...

That's a pretty profound thought Christa. It hadn't occurred to me before. "That's the last thing that'll leave us..." Wow.

(pontificating...)