12-13-05 Part Deux

And the thick plottens......
(A tragedy - act two)

This is funny - but you've really got to wait for the laugh:

I got an e-mail from Mom yesterday. It was full of anger and foul words. This is not like Mom at all.
The text is as follows:
"Answered the phone this morning at 10am and some woman ask for YOU. I told her you had not lived here for years. I ask to take a message since "I knew her parents still lived nearby". " no, no message" The number on the ID was 763-684-1405- Go-More financial, in Buffalo MN website is gmfcollect.com. It's probably about your Dr bill. I've got money, how much is that bill? Just pay it off and tell that old woman to screw herself.
I got a bill yesterday from March! That company had sent the bill to the wrong address and finally got paid, but now I owe $40. These people are stupid. Put it on your credit card. It's easier that having to deal with Bitchy people . And it's not worth the upset stomach. Then tell them your MOM said to go to hell!
love ya,
MOM"

Ok - understand that my Mom, although very realistic and practical, is NEVER this mean. She is a very proper Southern Lady.
Of course, we're cutting her a lot of slack because, for pete's sake, look what she's going through on a daily basis! And now she thinks I'm having financial problems. Yeah, she needs something new to worry about. Her life is so danged carefree afterall.

SO - I call this company because I'm thinking "I don't owe anyone any money. All my credit is fine. Everything's in good standing."
They say "We received this loan from JP Morgan Chase Bank/Bank One. Would you like to overnight a check or mail it to our P.O. Box." I say, "Who the hell are you. Where did you get this information? What information do you think you have and what is this debt for??!!" They tell me they don't have ANY details and want my phone number so they can call me back. YEAH RIGHT!
I ask them to give me every reference number they have and I'll call them back when/if I get good and ready.
They proceed to give me an "account" number, which turns out to be my Social Security number. I immediately start thinking this is fraud.
They tell me to call Chase to verify it. (I'm currently a customer of Chase and Bank One.)
I call.
I speak to a very pleasant woman who cannot help me. She transfers me to an even nicer person in the loan department who thinks we're talking about a car loan that I have currently but can't understand why anyone would call because my loan is in great standing.
He refers me to the Collections Department.
The Collections Department cannot find any outstanding loan in my name with my social.
They do a check and tell me that they do not do business with Gomore Financial.

I call Gomore back.
I tell them I want the name and phone number of the person who gave them my name and "information".
They tell me they can't give out the names of their vendors.
I said "Lady, you didn't have any problem wrongfully calling me. Now hand it over or I'll hang up and call an attorney and sue you for harassment and fraud. YOU have the burden of proof here and you haven't proven anything so far!"
She gets all huffy. Tells me I can't sue. Tells me I need to speak to "a credit manager at Chase Bank."
I'm pissed. It's 9p.m. I give up for the night.

8a.m. this morning. I call Chase at the 4th phone number I've been given.
Ask to speak to a Credit Manager and I'm informed that they do not have a credit manager. (wtf is that??)
I hang up. I'm not doing this again.
I call Gomore. I talk to Donna AGAIN.
Donna's in a better mood this morning and I say, almost politely "Look. I don't know who you are. You could be a woman sitting in your living room taking names for all I know. I do not owe anyone any money. I want the name of the person who gave you my information."
She says "I really can't do that, but it is odd because your credit really does look good otherwise you wouldn't have a loan at 8% interest."
I'm thinking WTF ARE YOU LOOKING AT??!!
I say, almost politely again, "This is MY LIFE. I do not care who told you you can't hand out their number. THEY owe me an explanation and one of you is going to give me one RIGHT NOW!"

She says (get this) "Ok, his name is Bill Donner and his number is 414-977-7933 and you didn't get it from me."
And I think YEAH...I"M DOING YOU A FAVOR. PSHAW!
(Please note that I have no problem giving out his number. Give him a call. Tell him he's a very bad man. - Ok, he's not. He's just doing a job...badly!)

And I call the Bill. And the answering machine says Chase Home Loans. (I've never had a mortgage in this life.)
And I say "Sir! You and I have to talk. I don't know who you are and I don't know who Gomore Financial is but you'd better start ponying up about WHY they have my social security number and what they think I owe them money for."
And he doesn't know. (faint!)
He puts me through to Tammy.
Tammy knows.

(Here it is - hold your sides - this is a doozie)
Tammy very nicely says, "Oh, I see that you owe $67.52 from a student loan back in....let's see...um...nineteen...eighty....six."

The silence was deafening.

I said, "You're nuts right?"
She politely, and quite meekly, said "I'll have it closed out for you."
I said, "I'll be wanting that in writing!"

*******
From: tammy.j.zellner@chase.com
To: AGNES999@AOL.COM
Sent: Tue, 13 Dec 2005 08:39:52 -0600
Subject: CBR UPDATE

-----,
Per our conversation I have sent the request to have account ***-**-**** removed from all credit bureaus. Gomore Financial has also been asked to close the account and to stop all collection activity. If you have any further questions please call me at 1-800-821-9868 ext 77926
Thank you,
Tammy Zellner
Recovery Chase Home Finance
direct 1-414-977-7926
1-800-821-9868 ext. 77926
fax# 414-977-7949
*******
Thank me???
Did you see an apology? I didn't see an apology.
This is SO not over. The letter that I' about to write to the CEO of Chase Bank (cc: The Better Business Bureau and every credit agency I can contact) will go down in history as the most classically well written scathing that ever existed.