How can I be so very lucky and so very unlucky all at once? ;)
I got an e-mail from my baby sister yesterday. It said there would be a "family meeting" with the doctors tomorrow to answer questions. 3:30p.m. and they will conference me in.
This is a good thing, right?
I got home and set about writing down all the questions.
Then my older brother called.
He said the hospital told my mother something new today.
They told her that my father has pneumonia and that the cancer has spread outside his lungs. They said they found this out on 12-13-05.**
I know what it means. We all do.
And we are angry as hell at the hospital. They never told my mother this. They still let him starve. They didn't even start radiation until AFTER 12-13-05 AND even last week they were telling my mother that the cancer is still contained in one lobe of one lung.
And part of me says "That hospital has gotten so much wrong already. Every time they have a shift change they start over at ground zero. Surely they're just WRONG about this."
Denial, I guess.
Obviously the questions are all different now.
Worse yet, no one has told my sister yet. She will find out today - hopefully before the conference call, but maybe not.
I'll be recording the call.
On 12-20-05 I flew to Houston without knowing if my father was alive or not.
When he opened his eyes, the room was full of relatives and he began to cry because he figured we were all there because he was going to die on that day.
He wasn't ready to die.
He isn't ready.
It isn't right.
(**I read every page of his file from 12-10 to 12-20 with a nurse. The last mention of the tumor was Stage III non-small-cell. That is a tumor that isn't moving.
I believe that entry was 12-19-05. It might have been 12-10 - regardless, someone should have documented something on 12-13 but no one did.)
7 comments:
Every time I read a new post from you Agnes, my jaw drops a bit more. One of these days I will end up like a drooling fool with my laptop covered in saliva :p
And it seems to me that this hospital have gotten everything wrong from day one. While you're making that list of questions, do write down a DEMAND of a second oppinion. And a third, if necessary. In cases where they won't tell a patient about a serious condition is one thing...but this sounds as if they simply neglected to tell anyone about this and kept it to themselves while they let the treatment slip away. And that is not right.
And yes, do record that call and keep it in a safe place.
My heart goes out to all of you.
Hugs'n'loves
I agree with all Christa said and I'm adding my love and hugs too.
x
Aggie - I am praying that you will have the strength to just grit your way through this. You are amazingly strong, and clear headed about this whole dreadful thing. Always remember you are never alone, although it feels terribly alone. You have people who love you and care about what you are going through. Thanks for keeping us updated, hard as it must be.
Hugs.
Listening with deep love and compassion.
they simply neglected to tell anyone about this and kept it to themselves while they let the treatment slip away
That's about the best summarization possible.
And the treatment has slipped away.
We are told it is too late. There is no hope. Only time.
Terry, grit - that's exactly what I'm doing. I will say that I've been sad a good while now...and at the moment I am only mad.
I hurt more now for my mother and my sister and my brother.
My mother sits by helplessly.
My sister is far too young and she knows now that her child will never know the amazing person her father was.
My brother must fear for his own life.
Our family curse continues. We cannot escape it. It is fated.
So sorry, sweetheart (biggest hugs)
I'm sorry Agnes, but there's only one word for doctors like these that you've stumbled over - assholes.
And again - I'm sorry, but I'm pissed off. I can understand if neither of you have the strength or the ambition to take any actions against these docs right now, but for Petes sake, whenever you can make sure they wont get away with this.
It wont make your dad any healthier and in general I'm against law suits and all the financial reasons that sometimes is behind it, but in this case it's more a matter of moral and to show that for as long as both the patient and his family wants to fight, it's NEVER too late.
Damn arrogant bastards....
I'm still around if you need me in any way. Just let me know.
Hugs'n'love to u all
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