The End of June/The Beginning of July (Month 7 begins)

"There is much work to be done." she stated, wondering if she even knows where to begin. She suspects that she does not.
"One foot in front of the other, I suppose."

Thus begins the journey. It is mental. It is emotional. It is spiritual. It is real.
It requires a goal. The goal is not yet clear; not yet determined. She feels it will reveal itself in time.

What she is very clear about is the need for some sort of action. She wishes for that action to begin today. Possibly, this post is the beginning.
A voice deep within whispers, "Is this a mood? Will this pass?"
She counters it with a desire to stay the course. Just stay the course. Focus.

There is something deeper to explore.
It feels as if there has been a "skip" in time. A gap from what was to what is.
To bridge the gap. Maybe that is the goal?

Soak in every emotion. Move in every direction.
Be no longer, a body at rest.

She says, to no one, "There is something larger than myself. There is something greater happening now."

Required Reading Materials:
"The View From Eternity" Vaughan Shelton
"90 Minutes in Heaven" Don Piper
"The Five People You Meet in Heaven" Mitch Albom
Possibly some more "antique" theological information - Egyptian, Tibetan, etc

Also required; Mark Twain Quotes (for perspective) , Albert Einstein Quotes and Theories (more perspective)

Movies:
Elizabethtown
Powder
My Life As A House
Tuesday's With Morrie
----Something more inspirational about life---- (suggestions accepted)

“As wounded men may limp through life, so our war minds may not regain the balance of their thoughts for decades”
Frank Moore Colby

“The crucial task of old age is balance: keeping just well enough, just brave enough, just gay and interested and starkly honest enough to remain a sentient human being.”

"All things in moderation."

6-29-06 Illusions and Delusions

If you want to get rid of your enemy, the true way is to realize that your enemy is delusion.

-Kegon Sutra

Why am I so very resistant to change? I want the here and now to improve and yet I am hesitant to make a difference. Is the rut comforting?

6-28-06

Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.
- Katherine Mansfield

6-27-06 taking a...

6-26-06

 

C'mon poke him. You know you want to.

Have a happy Monday.

6-23-06 Two Quickies in a Row

Wouldn't it be great if I had something profound to say? I don't. That's not a bad thing. Sometimes a blank mind is a blessing. Hey...wait...was that profound?

Happy Dancing Chicken Friday.

6-22-06 Just a quickie...

Boo.

Here's looking at you. (snicker)
Got an early day today so have a good one.
Is it Troutday?

6-21-06 Withdrawal

"Withdrawal from nicotine, an addictive drug found in tobacco, is characterized by symptoms that include headache, anxiety, nausea and a craving for more tobacco.

Mental and Emotional Symptoms. Tension and craving build up during periods of withdrawal, sometimes to a nearly intolerable point. One European study found that the incidence of workplace accidents increases on No Smoking Day, a day in which up to 2 million smokers either reduce the amount they smoke or abstain altogether. "

That's pleasant, huh? The hubby is doing amazingly well....sorta. He has not had one cigarette in seven days now. After a 2+/day habit, that's impressive and I'm proud of him. BUT - he has become an intolerable a**hole.
He's just downright mean. I realize this is a symptom and so I let it slide. I do not want him to go back to smoking. I know this will pass. But would it be so wrong if I slip valium into his drinks for a month or so?

Sigh. I love you honey. I'm sorry you don't feel good. I'm really, really proud of you.

“Someday perhaps the inner light will shine forth from us, and then we'll need no other light” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

6-20-06

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.
- Dave Barry

6-19-06

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
-Anais Nin

Happy Monday.

Feelings, whether of compassion or irritation, should be welcomed, recognized, and treated on an absolutely equal basis; because both are ourselves. The tangerine I am eating is me. The mustard greens I am planting are me. I plant with all my heart and mind. I clean this teapot with the kind of attention I would have were I giving the baby Buddha or Jesus a bath. Nothing should be treated more carefully than anything else. In mindfulness, compassion, irritation, mustard green plant, and teapot are all sacred.

-Thich Nhat Hanh, "Miracle of Mindfulness"

If you want to know the past, to know what has caused you, look at yourself in the present, for that is the past’s effect. If you want to know your future, then look at yourself in the present, for that is the cause of the future.-Majjhima Nikaya

Different winds come from all directions. Some are clear, some carry dust, some are cold or hot, fierce gales or gentle breezes. In the same way sensations arise in the body--pleasant or unpleasant or neutral. When a meditator sees sensations as he does the winds, coming and going, clear or dust laden, fierce or gentle, he will fully understand them and be free from dependence on them. When he understands sensations perfectly, he will see beyond this conditioned world.-Samyutta Nikaya

6-15-06 Inner Child Malarky

“It sounds corny, but I've promised my inner child that never again will I ever abandon myself for anything or anyone else again.” -Wynonna Judd


Inner child is a concept used in psychology to denote a condition that can be linked back to a childhood experience, physical or emotional.

Carl Jung called it the 'Divine Child', Emmet Fox called it the 'Wonder Child', Charles Whitfield called it the 'Child Within'. Some psychotherapists call it the 'True Self'. The "wounded inner child" label was coined by American educator and theologian, John Bradshaw.

The concept of my inner child was brought up yesterday. I'm having a lot of trouble with the idea. Someone thinks I should "nurture her". I, on the other hand, am inclined to think it's all a bunch of hooey. How does one nurture a metaphor?

“My quest these days is to find my long lost inner child, but I'm afraid if I do, I'll end up with food in my hair and way too in love with the cats.”-Kenny Loggins

Happy Troutday. (Hah. I beat ya to it Christa.)

6-14-06 Try and try again....

Today I will quit smoking...again.
I quit last year and that lasted about 4 months. The stress (and I think I'm justified in that one) got me back to it. It was also very difficult in that my husband continued to smoke. That half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray was just too easy to pick up.

So, he announced on Sunday that he would be quitting "in a couple of days". He purchased a box of nicotine patches last night and we both ran out of cigarettes today. I ran out about 10 minutes ago.

I do want to quit...but this came a bit sudden for me and I'm not sure I'm mentally prepared. Regardless, if he's quitting it's the best time for me to quit. We are going to be some cranky, snack-eating people for a while, I think. Maybe not. We'll see.

Gosh I hope I get it right this time.

Happy Wednesday.

6-13-06 That's not funny....or is it?

First things first: WOOHOO! GO HURRICANES! (The Hurricanes won last night. Great game too!) Now they get to shut down the Oilers on home ice. It's going to be one sweet victory.

And now: OxyMornical News

We have purchased a new printer. It's a pretty printer - mostly in that it is not an HP. (snicker) It's all shiny and new and has pretty blue lights on it.
I spent an hour wiring it up and plugging it in and setting it up. Then we print a test page and the funniest thing happens. A deep, sexy, manly voice comes across my pc speakers and says: "Printing Started". Now as nice as it is to have the deep, sexy, manly voice in my room, I think "Why does it tell you that?" And then it dawns on me. It is a printer for the blind.
Wait. Why are blind people printing things?
To be doubly polite...deep, sexy, manly voice returns to say: "Printing is complete."
So the blind can go get their printjob...right? ;P

In other news; I am networked. Both PCs are speaking to one another FINALLY.
My awesome, techie brother-in-law connected to my PC last night and found the problem that was keeping the pcs apart. He said to me "you realize you have THREE firewalls? McAfee (which was there first) and Windows Firewall (built in) and a Router Firewall."
Then he said the silliest thing ever. He said "No one could ever get into your computer."
He said this while he, sitting on his couch 250 miles from here, was changing settings the on my machine...without my help. Yes. He was moving MY mouse and looking at MY screen and telling me three firewalls were overkill. Uh-huh. Id'm not convinced.

Ok - if that didn't make you smile big, this will. (she surfs over to the pics on Machine #2)

Look at those sweet golden curls. I'm in love all over again.

6-12-06 Crossed Wires

And where the heck have I been, you ask? Well, I have been in a strange abyss. There is a deep, dark hole that I have found. It isn't my hole but I got shoved into it pretty hard.

See, I've had some internet connection issues. I called Verizon who was incredibly helpful but they blamed it on Linksys. I called Linksys who was incredibly helpful but told me to talk to Verizon.
What I should have done was conferenced the two together.

After 3hrs and 3 phone calls on Sunday evening, I finally got the two to agree to a reality. They had to work together to pull me outta the hole.
So, Linksys got my keys all corrected ("let me just reset your keys") and Verizon got my password corrected ("let me just reset your password") and voila, cha-ching, shabanm! I have wireless internet.
For the record, that nifty little setup disk that comes with the router...that's a cup-holder...not a setup disk.

Tonight we NETWORK! Woohoo!
Happy Monday. I hope it requires very little actual thought. LOL

6-9-06 Happy Friday

I learned something yesterday.
I learned that I can combat self-pity with positive thinking.
The self-pity wasn't mine, by the way.
Once a positive thought was thrown into the pool, the self-pitying party went away.
(sadly, the party continues to pity...just not in my presence)
I'm going to look for a lot of positive thoughts...to share...whether she likes them or not.
I'm going to buy me some Zig Ziglar books - that's what I'm going to do!
One of us will feel better! I know that much.

6-8-06 Musical Interlude

Rock Show

Doesn't that look like the stage lighting of some grand band? I thought I'd post a musical interlude today whilst I think of something more profound. :)

"If everyone cared and nobody cried,
If everyone loved and nobody lied,
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride,
Then we'd see the day, when nobody died

And I'm singing

amen I,amen, I, I'm alive
amen I amen I, amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing amen I, I'm alive (I'm alive)
Singing amen I, I'm alive"
-Nickleback-

What's the best concert you've ever seen live?
Oddly, the best for me was Queensryche: Mindcrime. It was a true theatrical performance.
Second best was an intimate show: Rik Emmett. Most talented and emotional guitar player I've ever witnessed. Brilliant performer.
Tell me yours.

Happy Thursday

6-7-06 Happy Hump Day

A rainbow of colors for HumpDay.

Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well.
-Josh Billings

Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures.
-Horace Greeley

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.
-Epicurus

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

June 6th, 2006

Love Letters


Love trumps fear!

Love to each and every one of you. Reach out to someone you love today. Just say "Hello" and be peaceful at the sound of their voice. Take a moment to think of the special, unique way that they laugh. What could be better than that?

My heart is with Linny and her Mom today. As I type, Linny's Mom is prepping for surgery. Prayers and blessings and love from here to there.

Have a Good Tuesday.

6-5-06 Mass Hysteria Amuses Me

I know a person who will hide inside a locked house, with shades drawn, because of tomorrow's date. I am amused by this. A bit saddened as well. It buys into my theory that people are sheep. That's a horribly negative theory, isn't it?
Regardless, tomorrow is 060606. I sincerely hope I do not have to eat my words but I just don't see the logic in fearing numbers.
Moreover, I do not comprehend a Christian fearing anything so trivial. Isn't that the purpose of that particular faith? To know that one is saved and so one has nothing to fear? It seems odd to put so much energy into the negative. How very Koreshian to hide away. Will there be thousands doing the same?

I see tomorrow as nothing more than a real good day to premier the remake of "The Omen". But that plays into it too, doesn't it?

I do hope some idiot group of zealot terrorists doesn't see it as a real good day to make a point.

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”
-Anonymous

Inner Light

6-2-06 IT'S FRIIIIDAY

Let's have something fun and curvy for a Friday. (I can see right where that statement is going.) And since I've already put my foot in it, let me add that Friday's are my early day at work; leaving me no time to respond to yesterday's postings but opening the door for this: Nothing like a good Friday morning quickie.

See ya soon.
Have a happy day. :)

It's a gray and cloudy day...and that's a good thing. :)
Here's hoping for a little rain. Rain is good. Rain washes away. Rain makes happy, new things grow.
C'mon showers, I'm ready for ya.

Isn't that odd? Our lakes are about 12" lower than they should be but poor Houston is floating. The difference a couple hundred miles makes.

Have a beautiful day everyone. May the weather be perfect, whatever mood it's in.