That's one of my favorite Dr. Philisms. My Dad would have said, "You'd better shut up and get glad." Same point.
This is also known as "pick your battles". I believe wholly in this concept.
Mother and Daughter spoke on the phone last night. I understand there were quite a few tears but neither one had the gumtion to say "I'm sorry." because both are dead set that the other was wrong.
Mother wants Daughter to "show me some respect" and Daughter wants Mother to "stop overreacting".
This whole, silly, stupid thing is because Mother felt her daughter wasn't respectful to her.
And so I took my shot. I've said very little and we've spoken very little since the incident. I waited it out. As soon as that target came into view, I took my shot.
I said, "The ONLY WAY this is going to get better is if the two of you agree to find a mediator. The only way either of you can see each other's side is to find a therapist and start going."
Of course there were excuses. Mother says Daughter won't go. Daughter says Mother won't go. I said, "You have both excused each other out of getting help. Get over it and make an effort."
Mother said she would call Daughter and let her pick the therapist of her choice and agree to go.
I said, "Being willing is the first step."
(Admitting you have a problem is the first step. I hope the therapist can pull that out of them.)
Anyway, I'm out. They're getting help and I don't want to hear another word about it. Whew!
So, pick your battles. Some things are not worth destroying a family. Being right is not always better than being happy.
4 comments:
"Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" How good is that! :-)
Looks like progress, first tentative steps made, hope they take the next and the next and the next.
Happy Tuesday, xo
It's cyclic, somewhere the buck must stop for fresh growth. Who-ever stops the buck is probably the wiser and acknowledges the need for the other, i.e gives a *(&) of having the relationship.
Really liked this post.
hehe...Dr Phil is huggable too ;)
I'm glad you stood up and cleared the air, so to speak. Maybe that's all it takes :)
I love your "Love is..."
I used to cut them out and send them to G way back in 1971 :-)
How is birthing process coming along today? Hope you are not in too much pain.
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