9-7-05 Small Miracles

We mark the days now in small miracles.
At 11pm Sunday night, he jumped from the windowsill with a little spring in his step. We cheered.
At 2am Monday morning, I checked on him and thought "If he jumps up on the bed again, then we'll know he's ok." but I knew he never would. The bed's too high and he's too small and old. At 2:05am he jumped on the bed. All by himself. No coaxing. Like he had heard me wishing. He lay down between us, in that place where he can feel us breathing, and he purred. I lay awake the rest of the night just feeling his presence.
At 7am Tuesday morning he pounced my ankle. He even took a nibble. I laughed out loud and begged him to do it again. (the little sneak)
Again he chose to sleep with us last night.
This morning we found him sleeping on his normal spot on the stairs. Maybe he's craving routine. Our routine has gone far awry. I'm ready to return to it as well. He seems so much better.

The vet gave us amoxicillin. I can't bring myself to give it to Pooh. Clavamox is the same thing. I don't trust it. I can't backslide now.
For the sake of documenting date/time and events: His fructosamine is 333. That's good. Both vets were impressed at his glucose levels and how well we've maintained them all these years. (I still think 333 is too high!)
Unfortunately, his liver levels are tragic. Things that should be 75 at max are in the 300 range. Hepatic. (although he's not jaundiced-how odd) We don't know the cause and without biopsy we won't know the cure. There are things we can do but they would all be experimental. Hopeful guessing.
The fact is that he turns 16yrs old this month. That makes him about 80 in human years. I keep wishing for "one more year". I've gotten that wish time and again.
I'm settling into the fact that these moments are the final. I will laugh at every silly thing he does. I will assure that he eats whatever he wants. I will pet and cuddle and play...and pray. And when his time comes, I will be entirely inconsolable. So will my hubby. And that is all we can do.