I have a nagging fear that I have seen my father for the last time in this life.
I hope that is a truly irrational fear.
In July, my father was a strong man. He mowed the lawn, did the laundry, ran errands, worked 7am to 5pm each day. I do not see these thing happening in his future.
It hangs in the balance like a bad Lifetime movie. Every day we wait to hear that he survived the night. Each day the news seems worse than the day before. None of us understand why.
12 comments:
That's what makes life so precious, Agnes. The unpredictable changes that no one know anything about beforehand :hugggggggs:
Wishing I was there to hold your hand and look into your eyes and hold you close to me. Put your hand on your chest and feel the beating of your heart. Close your eyes. Know that my heart is beating just like that too. Whenever you want to know that I am near by, put your hand on your heart. Your heartbeat is mine. Now I only have one question. When I come to Texas are you going to let me feel my heartbeat in your chest--ROTFLMAO. You knew I just had to get that in there. :-)
it would be nice to press rewind.
then maybe pause, or slow motion...
Sweetie, I hope you are wrong about this weekend having been the last time...
I want to say so much more, but can't find the right words.
Thinking of you constantly, Agnes, feeling for you, and hoping everything will be alright.
Hugs, xxx
There just isn't any way to get through the fear or sadness other than to walk on through, moment by moment. I so feel for you Agnes - hugs.
I'm so glad you guys are here. :)
Terry, you've got that right on the money. Moment by moment and just keep pushing on. I'm so amazed by how often the situation changes. It keeps our heads spinning.
Trée, you are so kind and sweet and thoughtful. I will count that heartbeat in my hours of need. And when I have found peace again, I will laugh my butt off at how tremendously incorrigible you are!!
Thanks for the grin on my face.
Christa, you're right because I wouldn't give a penny for a crystal ball right now. I do not want to see into the future be it good or bad. I've got to count this second for all it's worth.
Becky - I hadn't even thought about a pause button. Oh yes! Gotta get me one of those. Can we Tivo life? That would be real nice.
Autumn and Tracey - I know you're out there and you're sending positive vibes. I can always feel their warmth. Thanks for tolerating all this downer stuff. ;) I sincerely hope and pray that the news will better itself in the future. Until then, we'll just have to keep looking for Disney-type distractions.
I think I'll spend tonight and the morning fractalicating. :) Maybe something pretty and hopeful tomorrow.
Hugs to all of you. You are so very dear.
Or a fast forward button to use to skip over the bad times and get right back into the good.
Throwing pebbles against your bedroom window. Hey babe, it's pretty cold out here tonight, grab your boots and come out to play. :-)
ping, ping. (sound of my pebbles against your window) ping, ping. Mmm . . . :-)
I truly hope that dreadful feeling is just fear and won't actually happen. It's hard to see someone we love who was so strong and was once our hero, turn into someone who can't do anything for themselves.
Yes...let's rewind please.
Agnes, why don't you join me at ArtBabe and put up these fractals of yours in the gallery? They are gorgeous and so are your drawings and paintings. ArtBabe is for female artists only and you can also have your own blog around there and loads of other things :D
The addy is http://www.artba.be
I hope you're feeling better today :hugs:
So sorry Trée. You must forgive but I am getting quite a bit of prescription sleep these days. It's for the better, I'm sure.
Linny, I do too, and that notion changes with every day and every phone call. Yesterday they couldn't regulate his breathing and gave up on surgery. Now they've put his surgery off until after Thanksgiving but they're trying to buff him up for it. Hope, no hope, hope, no hope. It's just insane. Yes - he is my hero regardless. But it is so hard to see him struggle.
Thanks for keeping me close to your heart.
Christa, I am so very glad you're still popping in. I smile everytime I see you there.
I'm on my way to ArtBabe to look about a bit. :)
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